This morning is my “official” weigh-in. My most immediate goal is to get on the scale twice and see loss twice. This is twice. Drumroll please…

No loss. Steady at 211.5 which is what I was at on Wednesday. Which is, I’ll be honest, a blow at this particular point in time. This needs to feel worth it in order for me to be able to stick with it and I need to see that scale move twice for me to feel I’m making progress.

This is the part about trying to lose weight that I really hate. I didn’t eat any dinner last night until about 9pm when I finally got the kids to bed. I had a bowl of chicken broth with some slices of cooked chicken in it with parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. I knew when I was eating it that it was on plan but high in salt. This morning when I woke up I stayed lying in bed and kept worrying that I would be retaining water and it would mess up my weigh in.

I hate that. Hate it. I hate having to feel as though I am constantly worrying about things like this. Staying on plan should be my only concern and it messes with my head when I start second guessing my on plan choices.

Anyway… my first goal has not been met… yet. I still need to get on that scale a second time and see a second loss. Perhaps, I’ll get lucky and that will be next week. Sigh.

After that my goal is to get to “onederland” again. I think over 200 lbs is a critical threshold for me. There are stopping points on this journey, both up and down the scale, and from my past experience they are 216, 199, 189, 175, 165, 158.5. They come out to be roughly every ten pounds or so. These are going to me by intermediary goals.

Small increments one stage at a time. Sometimes not seeing the forest for the trees is helpful because if I told myself I had to lose 56.5 pound (which is my ultimate goal) I’d give up right now. But 10 pounds at a time seems possible and it gives lots of opportunity to celebrate my successes on the way down.

My goal date is going to be 1 year from last week’s weigh-in. If I can be back to 158.5 pounds by March 20th 2016 I will be happy. Like with the weight increments I think a longer time horizon is going to be more emotionally stabilizing for me. My hope is that this will mean two things:

  1. When I go on vacation, or have to go into a maintenance mode for a while, or hit a plateau I won’t panic. As long as I keep plugging away at it I’ll get there.
  2. I want to make this eating change as close to permanent as I can once I’ve reached my goal.

The cruise phase with it’s alternating pure protein days vs. protein + veggie days got me to my goal last time. I have to believe they will get me there again. Afterwards I spent close to a year and a half mostly stabilized and eating well. I know now that I can’t move into the maintenance phase. I can’t reintroduce bread, and potatoes, and things like that. I know now that the rest of my life will have to be protein, vegetables, and limited fruit. Making my time frame long will hopefully reinforce that for me.

But I’m getting ahead of myself… again… especially since I haven’t hit that first goal yet. Yikes.

For today the reminder remains the same: The only way out is through.