When I woke up this morning it was day 6 and I figured that I would check to see what 5 days of no carbs (no fruit not veggies – nothing) had yielded me.

Stepping on the scale I saw 211.5 lbs. That’s 3 pounds in 5 days. I should be pleased. But I’m not and I know why.

You see, I’ve been here before. Now, by this I don’t mean that I’ve weighed this before so I’m turning up my nose at it. What I mean is this:

When I’m losing weight or trying to maintain a weight loss I weigh myself regularly and make sure my weight stays within a relatively narrow range.

When I’ve abandoned all hope and know that the crazy train has gone off the rails and the scale is climbing I weight myself never.

When I’m contemplating trying to get back on the wagon I weigh myself sporadically in order to get a handle on what’s going on and where things stand.

During this last phase of sporadic weighing I usually have a few pound range that my weight is. In this case, last week I weighed myself and I was 214.5 and that was the day I went back to pure protein. But a couple of weeks before I had weighed myself and was 211.5. Another time within the past month I weighed 212.5 and another time was 210.5… as you can see it was all just bouncing around, as it does.

So now after 5 days of pure protein I find myself back where I was a couple of weeks ago and it doesn’t feel like a “loss” per se, it feels like just another bounce around which doesn’t have to mean anything. It could evaporate up in smoke with one slice of toast for all I know. I’m not going to “believe” my weight is actually going down until I’ve seen it move down twice. I will believe it when I get on the scale a second time and see that the number has gone down again and that number is not part of the range that I was bouncing around in here at the top.

Essentially, this means that I have to keep going on faith for another week or so. Which, I’ll confess, is pretty hard right now. It seems like it would be so easy just to say the hell with it and eat some potato chips or pancakes or a cookie. But I’m going to try to just let go, stick with my plan, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Some days, one day at a time, seems to long and too much and I need to shorten it to one meal at a time. Or one hour at a time. I just need to push through.

The only way out is through.