I haven’t been writing here because I’m taking a little break from everything for a while. My husband got his mother to come stay with the kids so that he could take me with him on a business trip.

We’d actually been planning it before our son’s health problems arose these last couple of months. When I was faced with the prospect of actually leaving it was incredibly hard. I didn’t want to go.

But I did want to go, which made going all that much more difficult because I felt selfish.

I was running on pure anxiety driven adrenaline the entire day and I think if I hadn’t been so focused on getting everything I needed to get done done before we left it would have been the biggest anxiety attack I’ve every had. I barely ate all day and by the time we got to the airport at 4pm my blood sugar was so low I felt myself slipping into a state of fuzzy headed dissociation. Athletes call it “bonking”. I was bonking.

After a fruit drink and a couple of cheese sticks I started to feel better.

I’ve taken this week as an emotional break – or at least tried to.

I’ll have a lot more to say when I get back.

 

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