I suppose when the universe wants to teach me a lesson it teaches me a lesson.

The weekend was fine. My eating wasn’t great but it wasn’t particularly terrible either. It was more what I would describe as what my “normal” eating had been over the years before I started Duakn two years ago.

But the at 2:30 am Sunday night/Monday morning I was awakened by a terrible feeling of nausea. Between 2:30 am and 9:30 am my body tried to vomit 5 or 6 times (honestly, I lost count) but my Adjustable Gastric Band just wouldn’t let it. None of the contents of my stomach could make it back out over the band and my body had to switch gears at some point and got rid of the offending items in the opposite direction. But the nausea didn’t stop.

I wanted to take an anti-nausea medication that we had on hand but since I’d started new depression medications I first asked my husband to look up the possible drug interactions. Wouldn’t you know it? I wasn’t supposed to mix the med I took at bedtime with the anti-nausea meds.

I waiting until 8:30 am when I called my bariatric surgeon. His office told me he was in surgery and the nurse would call me back. When she did she told me that she couldn’t comment on the depression medication and I’d have to talk to the person who prescribed that.

I called the APN who was also not in the office but her staff told me that they’d page her. When she called back she told me that she couldn’t comment on the anti-nausea meds and that I should call my surgeon.

One hour and 14 phone calls later (I’m not exaggerating) I got a hold of a kindly pharmacist who was willing to listen to me explain my meds and doses and the times they were taken and told me it was fine to take the anti-nausea medication.

Then I was stuck in bed recovering from the pain of being smacked around all night by whatever stomach bug got a hold of me. I felt like I’d been beaten up a bit. I’m not old, but I’m not really young anymore either and the hours of kneeling over the toilet bowl heaving did a number on my legs, back, and arms.

I ate nothing at all from dinner Sunday night (which I’m pretty sure went undigested) until Tuesday morning. I sipped water and some diet ginger ale.

Tuesday I had about 1.5 tbsps of oat bran, plain with nothing in it. Four hours later I ate 1/2 of a banana. 2 hours after that I had the other 1/2 of a banana. I don’t think I ate dinner last night. Oh, wait, I had 1/4 cup of oatmeal.

This morning I had 1 small (like 3 inches in diameter) gluten free pancake just so I wouldn’t have an empty stomach so I could take my depression medication for the first time since Sunday. Just now I ate a 5 ounce yogurt in the hope that the pro-biotics would help my stomach.

I needed something to break the cycle of my relapse and binging, right? Well, I suppose the universe took care of that.

Right now I’m not feeling much like binging or eating crap.

But I’m not really feeling like going back to start over with losing the extra weight I’ve put on either.

I feel like I just need a break.

So, I got some chicken for dinner and I’m making a vegetable and rice side dish and I’m hoping that when it’s ready in a few hours I can stand to eat some of it. I’d like to just be “normal” for a while.

My biggest fear at this point is that I’ll get some weird thought in my head that I can go on eating this little after my stomach is fully well. Or that I’ll conclude that since I’ve had so little this week I’ll be able to eat whatever I want when I get my appetite back.

What a sicko my disease is.

No thank you.

So, for today. Gentleness is in order. For my stomach and my soul.

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