I think I’m starting to feel mostly over the relapse. The food just isn’t haunting me.

Last night I got home late with the kids and while I was able to throw together some soup for them for dinner in about 10 minutes I didn’t have anything for my husband and me to eat. So we ordered in.

My husband’s first suggestion was a place that works for me when I’m on maintenance and can eat some rice. My first response was , “Great, place the order”. Then about a second later I realized that the beans and rice would be too hard to pass up and I hold him we needed to order from somewhere else. Which we did. I ate mostly vegetables. It was fine.

The depression and the neck/back/hip pain is really where my focus is and staying on plan with the food serves the secondary purpose of keeping my focus where it needs to be. As far as the pain goes, I’ve been taking a low dose of Valium at night before bed and I got a massage on Tuesday. I’ve been making an effort not to sit at all during the day because that is always what triggers the spasms. (Also, that’s why I’ve been light on posting this week; sitting at my computer has been a no-no.)

I’m definitely seeing improvement, but I’d like to be able to get back to my normal level of activity i.e. sitting and doing yoga. Yoga because I miss it so much and sitting because I’m going to have to do it once I go back to work next week because I’ll need to write out all my lecture notes for a new course that I’m teaching and that takes many hours of computer work each week.

My husband, as ever, is being so helpful and kind with my mood. He was in a bad mood the past couple of nights, feeling down about work, and we sort of met each other in the middle. We just let each other be in our moods and it was so much more comforting than trying to “fix” everything in the hour we have between the kids going to bed and us going to bed. Because, nothing can be fixed that way. We just have to be nice to ourselves and each other.

I’d write more, but my sitting allotment is now over so I’ve got to get up and move.

Taking care of myself.

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