I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster these past couple of weeks and it seems that despite not changing my food plan at all I’ve managed to put on 3 pounds in two weeks.

It’s hard to stay optimistic in this situation.

On the one hand, I know that it is from the stress. Stress has always been something that impacted my weight, even when my eating was not out of control. Since I know this, I can do what I can to minimize my stress and not let my anxiety get off the charts.

On the other hand, knowing that the weight gain is from stress doesn’t eliminate the worry that once the stress is over I’m going to have to figure out how to get the weight back off.

When I hit my lowest weight this past year on the diet it was actually after I’d finished with the weight loss portion of the diet and had moved onto consolidation. Right before Christmas I hit the low weight of 152.5 lbs. I was super happy and felt super good about myself. The food plan was easy and I wasn’t struggling with any part of the how I was eating.

Then the stress of planning my friends’ wedding and baking their wedding cake hit me from mid-January until the beginning of March. During that time, I started messing around with things like sugar-free candy and gained 4.5 pounds.

Then, nothing specific happened. I just spent the rest of the winter/spring bouncing around from 157-160 pounds. This week I landed at 160 pounds again.

I’m feeling discouraged. Not super-duper life changing discouraged. Just bummed that I can’t really figure this out. My food plan didn’t change (except for the positive that I cut out the sugar-free candy crap).

I’m just continuing to plug away at this.

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And that’s where I stopped writing yesterday because something happened. I don’t mean that in a tension-building-wait-until-I-tell-you-what-happened sort of way. I mean something happened to drag me away from the computer. I have no recollection of what it was. But, it happened. Obviously.

It’s hard to keep things straight right now and I have no idea where else I was going with this post.

Perhaps I was going to say that I can’t give in to second guessing myself.

Or that I have to have faith that this has worked so far it’s not going to fail me now.

Or that it’s just the stress and this too shall pass.

Or that I’ll get my mojo back once we go away for our vacation.

Or that once the immediate stress of the stuff that’s going on right now has passed I’ll be able to calm down again.

I just don’t know.

But, for right now, I’m going to try to focus on putting one foot in front of the other one task at a time, one minute at a time. One day at a time is too long.

I’m down to minutes now.

And they’re still coming.

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