So here I am post-field trip. Overall, I think it went pretty well. I stayed on plan and ate the food I’d packed and, yes, I had in fact over packed, but it was fine.

I’m realizing that the real key to long term success, at least for me, is simply planning and staying aware. I find that I tick off in my head the number of ounces of water I’ve had in a day without giving it too much extra thought, and I’m always in the right range. Sure it might be easier to just pack a sandwich and a bag of chips but the 10 extra minutes it took to make my deli rolls and pack up the veggies was the difference between long term success and the hamster wheel of frustration.

It is always amazing to me, when I am in the head space of recovery, how easy it is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keeping my good habits going.

Of course, in the head space of relapse getting out of the habits of eating poorly and allowing poor choices to snowball is so painfully hard.

But for today I’m trying to absorb that my success yesterday at the field trip was almost entirely due to the time I’d spent the night before preparing and packing my lunch. It’s the willingness to do that preparation that makes success possible.

Awareness of where I am, what I’m doing, how I’m feeling, why I’m doing and feeling what I am, and therefore why I am eating what I’m eating is also key.

The more recovery I get the more I simply know who I am and I like her. Taking care of myself doesn’t seem like a chore or a burden. I like preparing my lunch just as I get joy packing lunch for my husband each day. I know that when lunch time comes each day at work he won’t forget to eat, or not have time to go get food, or grab something that will be unhealthy. There is a lot of love packed in that lunch bag each day.

Now, there’s love in my lunch bag too.

And it tastes better than anything else.