Some days I don’t write because I’m too busy and I don’t get a chance to sit down at my computer all day.

Some days I don’t write because I’m too tired.

Some days I don’t write because I don’t know what to write about.

Today I know what I should write about but it’s still hard.

I don’t like to complain, but sometimes being a parent really gets me down. Of course I love my children. I think that the immeasurable quantity that I love them makes it harder. If I didn’t care so much it would be so much easier to let stuff go sometimes.

Things have been tough with my daughter lately. It seems as though things are always tough with one of the kids. I suppose the silver lining there is that at least they take turns! But there are recurring themes with my daughter that we go through each school year and some days it all just gets so discouraging.

Towards the end of last week I was really struggling with picking up the food. It was all on plan food, but I found myself on Friday and yesterday eating food when I wasn’t hungry.

Ok, let’s be honest, I just did that right now while typing this. I got up and got two cheese sticks out of the fridge and ate them even though I’m not hungry.

The silver lining here is that at least I’m picking up two low-fat cheese sticks that are 100% on plan for me, instead of something that’s not on plan.

But, one thing I learned in Overeaters Anonymous was that it doesn’t matter if it’s candy or a carrot, if I’m picking it up compulsively then it’s a problem.

I remember writing that in the inside cover of my OA daily reader, For Today.

For the most part I’ve been doing alright in the third phase of The Dukan Diet, consolidation. Yes, I’ve put on about six pounds from the lowest point I reached, but I haven’t been terribly worried about it. Mostly because it’s been winter and I always put on a few pounds in winter even during maintenance phases. Also, whenever I’ve lost weight I’ve always bounced back up a few pounds from the lowest before stabilizing. Lastly, because it’s been relatively steady so there hasn’t been any reason to panic.

At the same time, I can feel in my body that I’d be happier 5-10 pounds lighter than I am right now. Willpower is not an issue. This way of eating has become such a normal thing for me that it’s fine.

I think the next part of my journey is going to be about curbing the snacking and not eating when I’m not hungry.

But, I confess I don’t feel ready.

I keep thinking about my old For Today book. I think it’s time to find it again and maybe just get back in the habit of reading it each day. I don’t know whether or not it will do any good, but for today, it feels like a decent idea worth trying.

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