I haven’t weighed myself in a while.

This has not been about avoidance per se, other than the week I had my period, because I’ve learned that avoiding the scale that week (or two depending) helps to keep me stable.

This has mostly been about circumstance like travel and said TOM keeping me from the scale.

I’m feeling odd about the weigh in tomorrow.

It used to be that a long gap of not knowing would make me start to get squirrely in the head about the weigh in. I’ll confess when I missed the weigh in the first week a while back I was a bit nervous. Then when the second week passed with no weigh in I kind of chilled out about it.

My focus shifted from the scale giving me feedback to getting my feedback from what I’m eating. At the end of the day I take an inventory and I realize that I’ve been sticking to my food plan basically without any difficulty during consolidation. I eat my veggies and fruit along with protein five days a week and then two days a week I stick with pure protein. It’s not hard and it’s a comfortable stabilizing routine.

But being able to reflect on my eating at the end of the day and see that I have stuck to the plan gives me a sense of peace that I just couldn’t get before in my life. Following the plan tells me that I’m doing ok.

It will be nice to see if the scale confirms this tomorrow. I think if it does I will have a very grounding and peaceful confirmation that I’ve reached the place I’ve always wanted to be: where the scale doesn’t rule me, but staying true to my plan gives me the stability to no longer fear the scale or even have to wonder what it will say, because I already know.

Of course, to be honest, I have been eating proteins higher in fat more frequently, but honestly, unless the scale gives me a scare tomorrow I can say that I’m not too worried about that. My skin is clear, my hair is healthy, and I feel great. So, again, unless the scale tells me that I’ve severely miscalculated, I think I’m happier and more satisfied with a little extra fat in my protein here and there.

But for today, I’m feeling stable and good and hoping to get that recognition and confirmation tomorrow morning.