I hate it when that time of the month rolls around.

The scale goes up all by itself.

I’m tense and cranky.

I’m inexplicably sad and weepy.

I feel utterly exhausted and want to do nothing but rest.

When I do rest I feel like a pointless unproductive blob.

I’m short tempered.

All I want to do is eat carbs.

And to top it all off, I’m coming down with the cold my kids had over the weekend.

Blech.

What a delight.

I actually found myself staring longingly at the store front of the local bagel shop as I drove my kids to school. I haven’t been tempted by a bagel in close to a year now.

For lunch I kept dreaming about a bowl of pasta with butter and cheese- a dish my husband nick-named “a bowl of self-loathing” because of how it always made me feel after I’d eat it.

But I’m not falling off this wagon. Not today. I refuse.

But, at the same time, this is one of those days where something has to give.

I get tripped up by life sometimes. I tend to be rigid but, as comforting and essential as routine is for my success, there are times when it imprisons me and I need to allow myself flexibility. What has always been too tricky for me to navigate well is how to be flexible without going so far in the other direction that I find myself lost.

For today, my compromise is this: some extra oat bran. I ate my oat bran serving this morning at breakfast as I always do. But this afternoon the kids’ snack cabinet is calling me so instead I had some of my homemade oat bran granola at lunch and with my afternoon tea I’m having an oat bran muffin. It’s more than I’m supposed to have in one day, that’s for certain. But I don’t really see it as falling off the wagon because tomorrow I won’t have to climb back on as this won’t disrupt my overall plan.

I’m just leaning a bit to one side as the wagon goes around the curve life is throwing me today.

It’s progress not perfection.

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