So my three week long experiment is at an end and I weighed myself this morning. The results, in short, are that the scale read 154.5 pounds. That’s up two pounds from my last weigh in on December 19th.

Ok, so what was the experiment? It was two fold. The first part of which was what would happen if I stopped tracking my food intake?The second part was do I really need to be following the rules of consolidation since I’m holding back not overindulging?

I think the answer to the first part is loud and clear: I need to keep writing down my food each day. Is this why I gained two pounds? Probably not, but it helps to keep me sane, so I’m back at it. This morning I sat down and created a new spread sheet to track my food intake and get me through the next five months of consolidation.

It’s a relief to have that done.

The second part is trickier. I think I thought that since I wasn’t actually having the celebration meals and the servings of starch that I could somehow not need to be as vigilant. I now think I was wrong. I think I probably excused some higher fat foods on the logic that I wasn’t trying to lose weight anymore and I wasn’t having the carbs. This sort of tampering with the plan is what always gets me in the end.

I can not make a plan up by myself.

I can not even alter someone else’s plan to suit me.

I have to follow the plan as written. I wasn’t doing that and I have to get back to it.

So, this morning I also wrote out a new “responsibility” chart designed towards incorporating all the things from the consolidation phase that are required on the diet plan:

I will have my fruit each day. I will measure it out to be sure it is only one serving.

I will have my one serving of starch each week. I will measure it out to make sure it is only one serving.

I will have my one celebration meal each week.

I’m going to try this for one month and re-evaluate then. If I find that I’m still gaining weight in a month I’ll reconsider the need for starches and fruits.

I’ve also learned through this process that me not having a knowledge of what the scale says messes with my head. I need to know the number. Not to judge myself or determine my worthiness as a human being, but because it keeps me focused and on track without me having to experience stress over it. So, I’m going back to weekly weigh-ins. More is too often and less is too infrequent. Once a week works for me, I’ve learned that and I’m not messing with it.

On a side note, despite this two pound gain my clothes are fitting better than ever. I started back exercising last week and began work with a personal trainer. My goal is to tone, tighten, and smooth not build muscle. But, I know my body and some muscle building is going to be inevitable. (I’ve got some good peasant stock in my genes!)

I’m going to try to stay focused with the weight on the scale, but also look at the way my clothes are fitting and the way my body is looking. I know exercising will put on a few pounds of muscle and I have to be able to cope with that. After all, this is about fitness and feeling good, not just the number on the scale.

Results. Plan. Relief.