If you’ve read many of my back posts you’ll know that my clothing situation has been a topic fraught with stress for me.

I had a box full of clothes from before I got pregnant with my son (more than 5 years ago) that has been lurking in the back of the closet for those 5 years haunting me. I’ve been desperate to get back into them and finally, after years of frustration and failed attempts I finally got back into them. It feels great.

But, at the same time, it’s all clothes that are about 7 years old. This isn’t such a big deal as the clothes that I gravitate towards tend to be pretty classic and I don’t give into trends.

That said, they are old and while I feel excited to be wearing those clothes, new clothes could also be fun.

So, for the holidays (and my last birthday) I asked for gift cards to buy myself some new clothes. I got them and today my husband and I spent the day shopping, just the two of us.

Between gift cards, post-holiday sales, and shopping at outlet stores I pulled in an amazing haul. I’m not sold on everything, but my husband liked it all on me and even though I think a couple of the dresses/skirts are a bit shorter than I’m usually comfortable with his admiring eyes convinced me to buy them anyway.

But two things struck me as a little bit insane:

I got a couple of pair of pants a few months back because I just desperately needed them and they were a size 6. I was totally thrilled and excited. Today, however, in the same store with the same pants I needed a size 4 even though I haven’t lost any additional weight since I bought the size 6 pants. In fact in almost all the stores I started out grabbing size 6 clothes and having to go back for the size 4s. So, something must be shifting in my body despite the stabilization of my actual weight.

Crazy thing number two is that in one store I actually had to get down to a size 2 before I the pants fit me properly. Now, granted I was looking at the “curvy” pants style, not the “straight leg”, or the “skinny” styles, but a size 2? Really? Maybe the store does that to try to make people feel good so they’ll buy more clothes, but honestly, it just makes me further question the purpose of sizes at all.

I’m 5 feet 5 inches tall and I weigh 152.5 pounds. I should not be a size 2. I should not be a size 4. I should not even be a size 6. In all honesty, I think that at 5ft 5in and 152.5 lbs I should be wearing a size 8. Not too big, not too small. Right in the middle. But I’m wearing a size 2 or 4 and a size small? This seems crazy to me and yet another reminder that the way to find my contentment here is to feel good in what I’m wearing no matter what the size is. Because the size doesn’t matter.

What I’m happier about is just knowing that I have clothes that I can look and feel good in.