Today I’m writing off topic because I’m just so sad and frustrated. My kids and I are all sick and I’m feeling very sorry for myself.

I started getting sick on Tuesday night around 6pm. By yesterday morning I was clearly ill, with a mild temperature of 100.3, nasal congestion, and the beginnings of a cough.

I spent the day yesterday caring for my children, taking them to the doctor, taking my daughter to get a chest x-ray, making it to the parent teacher conference by the skin of my teeth, and then taking them both back to the pediatrician for a follow-up from the morning.

Thank goodness my husband came home from work at 2pm or it wouldn’t have been possible for me to get everything done.

Also, thank goodness my husband came home from work at 2pm so that when we finally got home at 5:30pm I was able to get things in order downstairs and just go to bed.

But this morning it’s a different story. I took some Nyquil last night which helped me sleep until about 4am but after that I was awake coughing. Now, at 8am, I have a temperature of 102.1 and my chest hurts, I’m slightly short of breath, and every time I try to take a deep breath I have a coughing spasm.

I had pneumonia five years ago and it scared the shit out of me. It is the only time in my life that I can remember not being able to breathe and it was really frightening. I’m so afraid that I’ve got pneumonia again.

But here is what I’m frustrated about. My dad is/was a doctor for 45 years and he retired last year. When he retired he up and moved to Florida, dragging my unenthusiastic mother with him. They kept their house here (no mortgage, why sell?) and my mom visits monthly so she can see the grandchildren.

I called my dad this morning, per his request, and his medical opinion was that I need to go see my doctor. Really?! Really?! That’s your suggestion?! I’m sick as a dog, I’ve got a kid home sick with me who almost wound up in the ER yesterday and I’m supposed to drag her and myself to the doctor?

I’m just so pissed at them for not being here to help. When I was a kid my grandparents were ALWAYS there to support my parents and take care of me and my siblings. ALWAYS. Yet, ,my parents are down in Florida having a high old time and I’m here alone with no one to help. No one to stay with my daughter, no one to take me to the doctor, no one.

I don’t have a lot of friends where we live. When we moved here we didn’t have kids and we didn’t know anyone. We’ve become friendly with some of the parents of my kids’ school friends, but they all work and none of those women are home in the middle of the day to help out.

If it takes a village? Where’s my village?

My husband now has to miss another day of work today but we don’t know what else to do. He’ll miss a day of work to drive me to the doctor and drag our daughter with us.

The “pay it forward” never happened here.