So, I was thinking that it was a mistake on my part not to have been tracking my body measurements from the beginning of this diet. Sometimes the scale doesn’t move but the body is reshaping itself. It would have been good to see the inches changing over time.

But, after my last weigh-in I decided that there wasn’t any reason not to start tracking the measurements now so I took them. Then, I input them into the spread sheet I’d saved from when I lost the 90 pounds originally. This is what I saw when I compared April of 2007 with today:

                                     4/7/2007            10/3/2012

  • Weight                  158.5                          157.5
  • Neck                      12.25                          12.5
  • Upper Arm             11.5                             12.5
  • Bust                       35                                37
  • Rib Cage                31.5                            32
  • Waist                      28                               32
  • Hips                        35                               37
  • Thigh                     19.5                            21

This is why my old clothes don’t fit! I’m anywhere for 0.5 – 2 inches larger in every category, except in my waist which is 4 inches larger now despite weighing one pound less! I know that I had a baby, and I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’ll admit it this is surprising to me.

Part of me thinks I should shift and start doing more weight training exercises to tone and shape my body to bring the inches down.

Part of me is terrified of this because when I lost all the weight originally I landed at a weight of 153.5 and then gained 5 pounds after I started exercising.

Part of me thinks I should just stop obsessing and accept the numbers, throw out my old clothes and have some fun buying new ones.

Part of me thinks I should just wait until I’m finished losing weight and see what the inches are then.

This is evidence of what I call “the eating-disordered head”. I have totally fractured thinking which leads to feeling confused and fixating on something that is somewhat arbitrary.

I need more reflection on this to find the clarity to know how to proceed.