God I was in a terrible mood today. I mean really terrible. Snapping at everyone. Being a bitch.

I went for a walk this afternoon and tried to clear my head.

I asked myself if I was really in this bad mood because of the scale this morning.

I’ll be honest, I really didn’t want it to be that.

Then I decided to just leave myself the hell alone and not beat myself up for being in a bad mood but just let myself be in a bad mood.

It helped a bit.

Then, I realized that what I was really in a bad mood about was the fact that I spent most of the day making mini-cupcakes for my son’s school tomorrow. I spent a couple of hours making cupcakes, baking cupcakes, packing cupcakes, and feeding cupcakes to my kids.

It was so hard.

I didn’t realize just how much it was taxing me to get my hands covered with sticky cupcake and not lick them clean… not to finish the leftovers on their plates.

It drains me and makes me feel depleted, less able to face the next temptation.

Thank goodness I had a healthy delicious dinner planned.

I’ve finished eating it without deviating from the plan despite the extra cupcakes which I have frozen and labeled in plastic bags for the kids’ lunchboxes. I find that helps. Once they’ve been explicitly labeled for the kids some switch in my brain gets flipped and they don’t call to me anymore.

At least not for now.

I’m going to finish writing this, take a shower, and go to bed.

Today this battle has drained me and while I didn’t lose, I need to recoup.