I always forget that with the start of the school year comes a bout of illness. My daughter, who’s 7 years old, never gets sick. Maybe once a year she’ll get a cold but it’s rarely a big deal. She’ll sniffle for a few days and maybe be a little grouchy but that’s about it. She must get her immune system from her father.

I, (and my son) on the other hand seem to get sick with alarming frequency and it always lingers and is debilitating. My son got sick last week. Now I have it.

It’s also been so darn busy since school started I’m finding it hard to believe that it’s been only two weeks.

Over the weekend I was feeling so optimistic. I sat in a coffee shop (while my daughter took an art class) and I planned all sorts of excursions and things to take the kids to this fall. Now, after sleeping only about 2 hours last night, I’m wondering where all that energy came from, and where it went.

I know that lack of sleep is my Achilles heel. That’s one of the reasons that the past five years were so miserable for me. Since I got pregnant with my son five years ago something (often him) obstructed my sleep. I started sleeping through the night for the first time in those five years last March. I think that’s probably why I’ve been able to get on track with my eating since then: I’ve had the energy reserves from sleeping to pay attention to my eating.

Unfortunately, today I have no appetite because I’m sick. I was up most of the night feeling nauseated and the idea of eating is grossing me out now. Well, to be more specific the idea of eating meat and protein is gross and I try to avoid milk products when I’m sick to cut down on mucus production. I tend to want only carbs when I’m sick so I was able to eat my oat bran breakfast without problem this morning. But now I’m stuck trying to figure out what to take with me to work for lunch. Absolutely nothing is appealing.

I wish I could just have some vegetable soup, but alas, this is a protein only day. Ack! I wish I could get to my goal weight for the simple reason that once I reach it and I move on to the next phase of the diet I will get to eat vegetables everyday. This alternating is getting to be a drag. I’m also eager to get to the point where I can have one or two “celebration meals” per week. These are meals built into the next phase of the diet where, twice a week, you get to eat whatever you want and not worry. (Not binges, just regular meals without restrictions.)

I’m not eager for those celebration meals so that I can go off the deep end and start eating crap again. I’m eager for them to arrive so that I can go out to dinners that I’ve been invited to, or have to go to, and not have to worry about whether or not it’s a pure protein day or where we’re going to dinner or what the choices are going to be. Like tomorrow night when I have to go out to dinner with my husband in the city with someone. I say, “have to” because even though this person is near and dear to my heart and I would move heaven and earth to be there to see her we “have to” eat in a restaurant. I’d much rather have her to my house for dinner so that I can control the food, but I can’t because my house would be 2 hours out of her way and she’s in town for only 4 days and she’s making a serious effort just to fit me in her schedule since there are so many people clamoring to see her. She lives half the world away and the times once or twice a year I get to see her are special to me and I’m always so happy that she prioritizes me over other so may other people and things. So the last thing in the world I want to be doing is worrying about the food. Especially worrying about the food the night before a weigh in.

So, for these reasons, I’m ready to get to my goal and move on to making the weight loss permanent.

Now I’m rambling. That happens when I’m tired too.

Tonight’s dinner will be scrambled eggs. Maybe with turkey in them. I’m good with that. That idea sounds appealing.

Lunch… I still don’t know. I think my choices are yogurt, shrimp salad, or chicken salad. All of that seems revolting right now. Maybe I’ll just bring a couple of tea bags and hope for the best.

Of course, if I do that I’ll wind up not eating at all and then either crashing in the middle of the day or losing myself in the food later and making terrible choices.

Failing to plan means planning to fail. (Thank you again, OA.)

Ok, so lunch will be: Roast beef and cheddar roll-ups. And maybe I’ll pick up some sugar-free jello to go with it if I have time.

I remind myself, this, as with everything, is just for today. Vegetable soup is on the menu for tomorrow!