We’ve been having some minor work done in our house this week. Some new paint, some new light fixtures, moving a cabinet in the kitchen. It’s nothing major, but there still manages to be chaos surrounding any work.

I had a supervisor who used to say, “There is always turbulence on the edge of change.”

Boy, was he right. I’ve never been able to forget it because I’ve seen it to be true over and over and over again.

My house is really old and whenever we try to do any sort of home improvement project it winds up being 1000 times more complicated. Either sizing isn’t standard and things have to be custom built or moving a light switch in the kitchen makes five other switches in other parts of the house stop working.

That’s what happened yesterday. At 4:30pm. On a Friday.

So, at 8am this Saturday morning the electrician is here trying to figure out what the heck happened yesterday. It’s Saturday morning. His kids have a baseball game to get to later in the morning.

I’m scared about how much this Saturday morning visit will cost.

I’m scared about how complex this problem is going to turn out to be.

He’s been here for almost an hour and yet he doesn’t seem any closer to figuring out the problem.

I’m scared that we’re facing a weekend without power to parts of my house.

I’m scared about what it’s going to cost to fix this problem.

I’m a lucky person. I have enough money to get all the things I need. I don’t have to worry about how to pay for groceries or the water bill. I plan well and there’s always money to pay our property taxes and for us to get new school clothes for the kids. But, I’m not extravagant with any of it. We have generous family who’ve let us use their homes for long vacations that make me feel like a woman of leisure. I save up for household projects and do my best to manage the costs of the project so they don’t grow as they progress.

But, we don’t have a lot of savings, if any beyond what I need to manage cash flow throughout the year.

When things like this happen, I feel so vulnerable. Like one broken washing machine will screw up this delicate balance.

I know that I am better off than most people on this planet. I mean, I have electricity in the first place! But I worry so much about money. Is there a point at which anyone stops worrying about money?

My challenge today is to find the serenity to stay calm despite this stress.

To stay focused while this chaos swims around me.

To not eat over this or allow myself to deviate from my food plan.

I know that deviating won’t help anything, in fact it will make things so much worse.

There is the Overeaters Anonymous maxim: If you have a problem and you eat over it you have two problems.

Amen to that.

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