I’m struggling today to try to stay focused on my goals while trying not feel so disappointed.

I calculated out the rate of my weight loss and I’ve realized that I lost roughly 10 pounds in the first 3 weeks; roughly 10 pounds in the following 6 weeks; and I’m on course to lose roughly 10 pounds is 9 weeks. This implies that if I want to lose another 10 pounds after that point that it will take 12 additional weeks.

I wanted to say “this means that if I want to lose…” I went back and edited out “means” and replaced it with “implies” because nothing in my weight loss attempts ever “means” anything.

It’s not so much that I am having trouble with the food plan. I think I could continue on the food plan indefinitely. It’s just that I am impatient. I don’t want to wait that long to get to my goal.

I think the real problem here is that I am losing my hope. It’s not that I’m losing steam, I’m just losing a bit of hope.

I’ve Googled plateau breakers for the diet I’m on and I’ve gotten a lead on a few things to do that don’t seem too extreme or crazy. But I’m ambivalent.

I don’t want to get squirrely and start acting on all of my crazy-eating-disordered thoughts (which have been successfully kept at bay these past few months). But at the same time, I simply don’t know how long to let this plateau go on without taking action.

Is doing nothing but staying the course the right choice?

Is taking moderate action the right choice?

In Overeaters Anonymous I remember learning a maxim that helped me: “Don’t just do something; sit there.”

I’ve always been the opposite: someone who is ready and willing to take action. I just realized that sometimes the action isn’t productive, it’s just busy-ness to keep myself moving, sometimes for no reason. Sometimes that action is misplaced and unhelpful in the long run.

A lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.

Sometimes, just trusting in the process is move valuable, more productive, more positive for me.

I am leaving on Monday to go to my mother-in-law’s house for the week with the kids. She’s wonderful and will support me in anything that I chose to do so I’m not worried there. It will just be difficult to do this diet in someone else’s house (another post on that later, I’m sure) let alone trying to do some sort of plateau buster.

I was thinking that to mange that week with her I might have to shake things up a bit. This is the plan that was floating around in my head: instead of alternating pure protein days with protein & vegetable days to just do protein & vegetable days the entire time I’m there. That will be 4-5 days. Then I can do 4-5 days of pure protein days once I get home before I have to weigh-in again in two weeks.

I don’t know.

Maybe that’s the point. Maybe I just have to remember the darkness I came from that brought me to this diet.

I don’t know.

I have to accept that I don’t know.

Head down.

On target.

One foot in front of the other.

Slow and steady wins the race.