Scale: 168.5

Change since last week: -2.5

Total change: -20.5

How many days out of the past 7 did I:

  • Follow my food plan: 6
  • Drink my water: 7
  • Have my oat bran: 7
  • Do 30 minutes of exercise: 6

Today I am feeling this way about my progress:

Relieved. I can talk a good game about staying positive and focused and not letting myself become obsessed with the number on the scale, but to be honest, it’s scary to me not to see the scale budge.

When we’re talking about incremental weight loss, on a week to week basis, there is no way to determine progress other than the scale. I can see that I look radically different from where I started 20 pounds ago, but it’s hard to see or feel a 1-2 pound weight loss. The scale becomes the only way to measure if what I’m doing is working.

This, in an of itself, is a new thought process for me. The scale isn’t a reflection of how good I am. The scale is a reflection of how effective the diet is.

I suppose this distinction has come about because I’m actually following this diet.

In the past (not all of the time, but most of the times I’ve tried to diet) I’ve not been able to follow the diet. I’ve started out strong but after a couple of weeks I would start tweaking and changing and making excuses and rationalizations so that I could do whatever I wanted. Surprise, surprise, the diet would stop working.

Now, I’m actually following this diet pretty exactly. The only systemic change I’ve made is that he allows only non-fat dairy on the diet but I’ve allowed myself to include low-fat cheeses made with 2% milk. I haven’t really tinkered of my own accord with any of his provisions.

It just goes to show me that when I follow the plan, the plan works.

The real question is why am I able to follow this plan?

That question, which might have seemed overwhelming to me before, seems so clear now.

No sugar, flour, wheat, processed/refined carbs.

I have exactly ten pounds to go until I reach the goal I’ve had in my sights for the past 4 years: what I weighed before I got pregnant with my son.

But, if this process remains sustainable for me I don’t see a reason to switch to consolidation until I hit “the promised land” which is 10 pounds lower than that.

Why is that “the promised land”? Because if I lose an extra 10 pounds then I will finally, for the first time since I was a child, have a BMI in the “normal” range.

Again, I’m not looking to be skinny. I’m just looking to be normal. Even if it’s the tippy-top, upper-most, of “normal”.

But today I am relieved. Rewarded. Revived. And ready to keep going.

P.S. The one day that I didn’t follow my food plan was the day that I just couldn’t face the prospect of a chicken breast only dinner and I ate some veggies too. I was proud of myself that I didn’t throw it all away and go completely off diet, I just ate some veggies.