I had a whole conversation with my husband over dinner last night that keeps rattling around in my brain. It was about the extent to which my sanity seems to have been restored by this diet I’m on. Instead of making me feel deprived and therefore unstable I just feel calm. He asked me if I was going to be able to sustain this effort much longer and how my willpower was holding out. (More on this concept later.) But we also talked about the fact that for me the sanity I’ve gained is evident in so many areas other than just my approach to food. It’s as though it has permeated my approach to life and made everything easier to manage.

Case in point: over Memorial Day weekend my husband and I went on a bike ride. I had to bow out shortly into the ride because I just didn’t have the stamina. I was tired and my legs hurt and it just wasn’t enjoyable. Rather than get angry at my husband for being in better shape than I, I simply told him I wasn’t up to it and that he was free to go on ahead of me while I turned back.

I suspect he was uncertain that I really meant what I said, but I convinced him and he enjoyed his ride without me. Best of all I enjoyed heading back and not getting emotionally volatile. It was comfortable and felt good not to get wacky about it.

Today my husband and I went for another bike ride. I was feeling surprisingly good; my legs didn’t hurt, my back didn’t hurt, I felt awake and had stamina. I was happy to be enjoying the ride with him. Then, just as I was about to tell my husband to pick a longer route home I wiped out on my bike.

Before, I probably would have been embarrassed. Angry at myself. Angry at my husband for no good reason. Angry at the world.

But I was fine. I mean, I was actually fine. Some nasty scrapes etc. but nothing broken and nothing bleeding too badly. I sat there for a few minutes while my husband helped me get my bike off me and clean out my wounds with his water bottle. Then I stood up and walked the bike to a less busy road and hopped on and biked home.

Emotionally, I was fine too. I didn’t freak out. I felt totally emotionally balanced while that all happened. I wouldn’t have been able to do that when I was eating sugar, flour, wheat, and refined carbs.

This is a blessing.

 

Advertisements