I’m struggling a bit today. It began last night and it’s persisted until this morning. All of a sudden, I got hungry, and then I couldn’t get satisfied.

From about 4pm in the afternoon until bedtime I am having the hardest time feeling satisfied by anything that I eat. I just roam from one food to another in the hopes that something will satisfy me. I’m not really over eating per se, just eating aimlessly.

Last night my dinner was so unsatisfying that I actually just stopped eating it and threw it away. It was dry and tasteless and I just couldn’t choke down another bite. I wound up eating a spoonful of peanut butter. Again, not a trigger for me, but a bit higher in fat than I’m supposed to be eating on this diet.

I think part of the problem is that I’m under eating in the beginning part of the day just because things are so hectic. I have a really limited amount of time to eat breakfast so I shovel it in without really thinking about it. Then, because of the timing of my job right now, I have to eat my lunch at about 12:15 (which is early for me). Then, by 4pm I’m hungry and tired and grouchy and restless and empty. Of course, that’s also when I get home to my kids who are tired and hungry and grouchy and restless and empty.

I have no time for myself at that point and I get thrown into cooking their dinner and getting their baths and their bedtime, etc. I munch and snack and while I’m not eating anything that’s not on my diet, the feeling of never being satisfied is disconcerting.

This has been going on for only about two or three days. Not really long enough to warrant panic, but I don’t like it.

I think my solution has to be to plan a real snack for the afternoon, not just rely on having allowable foods around.

Is food this complicated for other people? It just can’t be. Society couldn’t possibly function.

I think I also need to find some alternatives to the staples I’ve been eating lately. I need to get more creative with my meals and preparation. I can do that. I’m an excellent cook. I’ve disconnected from that part of me while on this diet and it’s been helpful so far. But, now, I think it’s time to get creative again because eating the same four or five things day in and day out is starting to wear thin. If I want to succeed in this endeavor then I have to be on the lookout for pitfalls and adjust; be flexible. That hasn’t always been easy for me, being flexible, but now I see it as essential to my success.

The rhythm of eating in my day also has to get smoothed out. Perhaps, if I do plan a snack and plan better for dinner a good rhythm will return.

Everyday a new challenge. Everyday new change. Everyday a new opportunity to grow and learn.

I’m just grateful to see it that way today.